Berries, Hippies, Hunting, Darts, Beer and Chicken

Words by Alex Kaufman

Time is short, which is good. 

Though dropping temps are finally on the horizon, if you’ve yet to make a visit to your favorite ski spot this summer, you’re missing out on a chance to see snowmaking gear in a big brown pile, hunt the trails for forgotten treasure, and seeing the sun after 5 p.m. To that end, there’s an ongoing parade of events during the last few weeks of summer to tempt you and your fat wallet away from your backyard or the beach. Here are a handpicked few to consider based on what stereotype you fit nicely into.

Toting the family - Try a Blueberryfest..

The Attitash Blueberry Fest on August 4th features 7 hours of hand-to-hand combat with blueberries akin to a snowball fight. You should wear a bathing suit and prepare for paintball-like tactics. The winner gets a free horseback ride and a shower. That’s actually not what it is.

Attitash means blueberry in Abenaki, and this year they're hosting a festival to celebrate. Expect a craft/farmers market, field games, lots of local brewers and music all day long headlined by the Adam Ezra Group. There also should be ample opportunities to get covered in fruit.

Just got off tour? Jay Peak's got your tunes..

Jay Peak’s August West Fest on August 11th takes place in the town of Jay. There are surprisingly few patdowns, nor are they necessary. Expect to see plenty of dogs and people playing Frisbee. 

You’ll also hear lots of music that will either really get you stoked or you’ll make condescending comments about it, while trying very hard not to enjoy it. In the end you will enjoy it, but you will not admit it as to protect your reputation. The less up-tight people will dance a lot and have a great time. Rick Redington and Luv will musically cook to taste. If you know who August West is, then you’re ahead of the game.

Like to shoot things? Seven Springs eternal..

There seems to be no better place in summer to shoot at stuff than Seven Springs in PA. On August 8-11th they’ll be hosting the IBO (International Bowhunters Association) World Championships and Seven Springs Bowhunters Open. Worried about shooting your children (sarcasm), they have a kids camp that will keep them at a safe distance. If you can’t make it that weekend, it seems target shooting is an ongoing amenity, so stay calm.

Barfly? Sunday River is the bullseye..

There’s a $12,550 purse on the line at the Sunday River Open Dart Tournament September 14-16. I’m not a dart expert but I’m assuming it will play out very much akin to the movie Kingpin. There will be a downtrodden has-been dart player with three fingers trying to regain his glory against a highly favored rockstar dart slinger who has ladies strewn about him and hefty sponsors. In the end there will be a moral lesson learned. I’m not sure who will get the girl. You’ll have to register to find out.

Microbrew-aholic? Mount Snow bro..

While there will be Columbus Day Weekend Beerfests everywhere you look, Mount Snow does theirs over Labor Day Weekend and this one’s large. It’s also a chance to visit one of the places hardest hit by Irene a year ago. Spend some coin in the local community while you’re there. It’s the 18th time they’ve pulled it off and you can expect 35 different brewers. Added bonus, the New York slant of the visitors to Mount Snow means there will be some Jersey Shore types to people-watch saying things like “Joey this is great. I love da nature!” Engage this beast out of its natural habitat for years worth of quoteables.

Andy Parry Wannabe? Get sauced at Tussey..